June, July, AugustThat's the way we're gonna go.
Not through thought nor words nor catchy phrases--through ink and skin, ever bound. No tablets, no words I say, nothing to remove them.
Summer's coming 'round, and he knows how I get. All dreamy and sickening and detached. It's the one time of year I get to spend time with myself, and more importantly, with him. With them. All of them. It's not just me, myself and Ivan anymore. Nope. Now there's a third party, though I know he'd never dare intrude. I think he gets that they, above all, just about come first. And it's not a matter of loving one over another, it's simply a matter of knowing that I love myself, which includes them.
Well, Butrine has stopped working. I'm almost certain of it. Before it, he was there. During it, they were there, though faded, like ghostly little fogs that spoke in pure emotion and gists. Now? Well, now they're stronger and more present than ever. A sleep over every night, a debate every time a song comes on, conflicting opinions over every fucking matter. They argue and bicker like a married couple.
It's been nearly a year since him. Nearly two since you. Nearly three since she lied to me. I'm ready to move on. Year after year, summer after summer, I sink. Be it into a bowl of kiwi, a cup of Jello, or a morbid and cliche glass of blood. (You still make me sick, you know that, right?) I sink. What's it this time? The sheets? The proper place, like someone's arms? Not someone's. His. Let that be it. Not the kitchen floor again, not the front door, and God help me if it's like 2K5. I'll die, I swear by it.
These people and thinks make up what I am. A trait for each, as it's not possible for people to just walk in and out of my life. They've got to change me. It's the law of the world, and if you think that's wrong, think again and shut up. Shut up before I give you a reason to change. God knows you need it, you ignorant little shit.
I am fucked, I am angry and I am a liar, I've been so alone and I've been so verging on the fall. But they've succeeded in catching me--the drunk and the depressed, and the Gray-Splotch. And you can bet that for all that I am fucked, for all the anger, and all the lies, I am proud. I'm proud of myself and I will not just stand back and let those that have hurt me sit and watch me wither away. Promise. I'll stand tall, as tall as the three of us can muster (because Lord knows I need compensation), and I will not let another person bring me down in such a way. No person two faced or wicked or person that can be smothered like a light.
It's happened for three summers past, and it will not be happening again. Trust me, those days won't be mourned.
Bring it on if you think otherwise.
Eager
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-"A thousand years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me."-
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-"A thousand years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me."-
much for the
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Catch my 15,000 pageview and win a feature
Thanks a lot for the
Appreciating your support !
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And the lights turn them off my friend
And the ghosts..Well just let them in
Cause in the dark, It's easier... to see
Capturing time in a heartbeat [link]
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Out in the Street They Call It Murder
So really, there's no need to thank.
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PREVENT VIOLENCE! Give me your lunch money.
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